When the sun goes down and the fears begin to fly
My poisoned thoughts pollute my mind
Telling me I can't do it
Anymore
Leading my hands to
Grasp
Hungry and desperate
For that cold, shiny piece of metal
I hear the whispers of the devil
Soft and comforting against my ear
Encouraging my movements
Taunting me
And the second it touches my palm
I am more in control
This metal has tamed me
Just holding it in my hand makes it better
But the whispers are not satisfied
Oh no, they intensify
Cut
They say
Cut
They scream
And I am close
So close
But I hold on
I hold out
My fingers curl around each other
Forming fists
My nails dig into my flesh
I squeeze my eyes shut
And I sing

Hold on tight this city's about to break*
More God?
Really?
Why?
Please no more
Please
His hands wrap around my wrists
His knees push down
Pinning me
Like an animal
Stretched out on a board
Ready to be dissected
And everything that is
Everything that was
Strong
In me
Disappears

Hope sweet hope how much more can she take
My shoulders shake
My spine stiffens
All over
My body is trembling
From the stress
Of holding it all
Together
From the weight of
Fear
Anger
Confusion
Expectations
Hurt
It's crushing me
I don't know what to do
So I cling
To the one thing I know is true

The glimmering light in the corner of a broken sky
I see it
And I lunge towards it
I can't run
I don't have it in me
But I stagger and stumble
And slowly
I make my way
Through Him
To Him
It's the only thing I know to do
I want to cover myself in this light
In this life
It's bright and warm and
So unlike the things I've come to know
To expect
For this glimmer is the only thing
Keeping me in this game
The only thing
Breathing air into my collapsed lungs
The only thing
Pumping blood into my mangled heart

In the cold, dark night
She's not giving
Not giving up
Because this glimmer has done something,
Something that nothing else has ever accomplished
This glimmer has halted
The thoughts
The memories
The pain
The blade
And reminded me of
The love

The light may be dim
But it's there

That's all I need