When the sun goes down and the fears begin to fly My poisoned thoughts pollute my mind Telling me I can't do it Anymore Leading my hands to Grasp Hungry and desperate For that cold, shiny piece of metal I hear the whispers of the devil Soft and comforting against my ear Encouraging my movements Taunting me And the second it touches my palm I am more in control This metal has tamed me Just holding it in my hand makes it better But the whispers are not satisfied Oh no, they intensify Cut They say Cut They scream And I am close So close But I hold on I hold out My fingers curl around each other Forming fists My nails dig into my flesh I squeeze my eyes shut And I sing
Hold on tight this city's about to break* More God? Really? Why? Please no more Please His hands wrap around my wrists His knees push down Pinning me Like an animal Stretched out on a board Ready to be dissected And everything that is Everything that was Strong In me Disappears
Hope sweet hope how much more can she take My shoulders shake My spine stiffens All over My body is trembling From the stress Of holding it all Together From the weight of Fear Anger Confusion Expectations Hurt It's crushing me I don't know what to do So I cling To the one thing I know is true
The glimmering light in the corner of a broken sky I see it And I lunge towards it I can't run I don't have it in me But I stagger and stumble And slowly I make my way Through Him To Him It's the only thing I know to do I want to cover myself in this light In this life It's bright and warm and So unlike the things I've come to know To expect For this glimmer is the only thing Keeping me in this game The only thing Breathing air into my collapsed lungs The only thing Pumping blood into my mangled heart
In the cold, dark night She's not giving Not giving up Because this glimmer has done something, Something that nothing else has ever accomplished This glimmer has halted The thoughts The memories The pain The blade And reminded me of The love
The light may be dim But it's there
That's all I need
The italicized words are pieces of the lyrics from the song "Hope" by Remedy Drive, a wonderful band whose music means so, so much to me.