Yesterday we had our first fight.
My heart was beating so fast
I was sure you could hear it.
But it was the craziest feeling.
I am still reeling over it.
Because amidst my anger
another emotion was so prominent
and so unequivocally there
that I'm not sure if my face
looked more frustrated or surprised.

It was passion.
Do not be mistaken,
I knew it was there.
But not like this.
If I were aware of its ability
to manifest itself in such ways,
I would've run so far away from you
that the only anger left in that bar
would've belonged to you.

But my subconscious has clearly been lying to me.

So here I am,
a physical mess.
Anxious, confused, sad.
All because fighting with you
Has extracted more feeling from my body
than any normal conversation
with someone else.

It kills me that these things
you will never know.
But lying here
in this pool of emotions,
I am acutely aware that
you don't deserve to know them.