I wish dreams did not exist


The only place I could ever hope to escape you is the subconscious, and yet I can't.
I see you coming before I even recognize you.
You are a face not easily forgotten, yet you might not even look the same.
I can still smell your hatred from your rotten, putrified soul, decaying inside that marble sculpted coating.
The smallest memory, the quickest glimpse is a trigger enough to haunt me all night.
The vicious cycle continues, as dreams remind me more of your absence, and that remembrance catalysts more dreams.
I think that to be the reason you've never left me yet.
How selfish you are, to never let me go, to even grip tighter than before,
Like you want to **** me dry of all that is my own,
And leave me with nothing but an outer shell - all of the things inside that matter stolen under the worst intentions.

And the saddest part?
Whether it's through seduction or shear abuse, you will always shatter my heart in the end.
Kissing, touching,
Screaming, torturing. They feel no different now.
I never save myself,
Perhaps I'm waiting for that story book ending I never received.
Perhaps I just don't know how to not let you hurt me.
Most likely, it's both.


I wish that dreams wouldn't exist,
Because if they didn't,
Then you might not either