watch watch watched me, watch you, watched your skin turn young again the night change to early stories lost in fall grass, august-headed unseasonable warm and orange, and rose, and daisy-chain
watch your skin turn young again in summer, not summer anymore but still something that looks a little like summer windows ajar and knuckles *****, cracked and red with god and icy providence your skin, so young so genius so young again
I knew your laugh one april I’d forgotten it by may and I remembered forgot remembered in june your pulse in my eardrums when I found your chest here and when it was in the city me, under a blanket in a time warp in the metropolitan area but not close enough
san francisco wouldn’t have me like boston lusted after lusted after lustedafteryou bridges held by strings lusted after you tonight, and that night, and the halves of all of our nights that I didn’t see, all those mouths hands blue-green beds lusted after you a different end oh oh oh, I saw it coming
that warm thing that salty distance thing, sometimes that’s why you leave that’s why anybody leaves winemouths, unrecollections mouths sour oh that’s why honey anybody leaves
autumn heaven gave way to the winter couch chests by necessity warm with the warm beats of memory multiples of seven on the parting finish parting palms on leather leather and a refuge fantasy nineteen or twenty
the shoulders of a soldier of the soldier of the soldier that you should have could have been—
dreams and cheeks ready came, after pulling blood and fingers and sons through slowthinking hips sharp with the thought of your laugh and lips broken record touched sorry sorry sorrysorrysorry I’m so sorry—
can you remember? the rains are a little alive the living rains are a little memory of the little sweet high the little clocks barely waiting underneath the ghost of the second afternoon train
my bones were fragile in january are fragile in january please keep touches brief keep touches soft keep touches to the city only in the camera lens keep touches to the curtains to the kitchen to the hy- po- the- tic— don’t make me give it a name just be my brother don’t let me give it a name (four ever forever sunset stop me)
goodbye was to be navy and floor-grazing and in my own words. that evening you were to buy me flowers for the first time despite how adamantly I didn’t ever want flowers for those months you were to know I was wrong that last time I was to smile at you and cry in the bathroom for the knowing that was it
but evening walked too quickly and spoke hell the language not the word, my language not your word I only understood the skyline you only understood numbers let’s make a deal, you said, as the sunshine made its last orange address
let’s make a deal, I agreed.
stumbling like sugar like horses like homeless like muscles literature-fixed and all brown-bricks grandiose and unready. grandiose and unready. grand. ready. no—
so—
stumbling through the seasons through the ceilings we became a mid-march anachronism nothing to lose nothing to lose nothing-to-lose nothing nothing to lose
nothing
can we just stay till the dawn it’ll be fun we’ll be fun we’ll have fun you’re fun taste the minutes melt like rock sugar watch the dust pillow from the middle only human fingertips feel the shakeshake and the desperate tears in fabric
honey pearls tiger hearts scratch-blind highway floods mad july that july