You only seem to care for me when I'm happy,
with one hint of a frown I know you'll be gone.
I thought this would be good for me, that
I would learn to be happy and full of smiles.
But I can't make my thoughts disappear and you
don't seem to understand that smiling no longer
means happiness for me anymore.

Smiling means convincing you that I'm okay
when that's the last thing I am.

Smiling means being normal when you want me
to be and not letting you see that I can't breathe.

**Smiling means suffocating.