I held an arm over my belly
trying to feel her tiny heart
beat
and sense that life that has become
my own;
wanting to cradle my baby girl
and sing her sweet lilting lullabies

The crib sat silently, waiting
already lined with blankets, sheets
and a colorful fish mobile.
We talked to each other, sometimes
since we shared the same wanting

He spread his fingers on my
belly
in the morning before the sun
rose
When the rain still pattered on the
rooftop at dawn
he held us,
me and our little girl;
kept us warm until day broke

The lights were too bright
and the room too cold
and I was screaming-
and,
and then crying.
Crying for her closed eyes
and blue face.

I held an arm over my
belly
trying to feel her heart
beat
wanted to cradle my baby
girl
to sleep