nights without you //

i //
i go to bed at ten,
aiming for eight hours of rest.
my thoughts are whispers,
that won't leave me alone.
the clock ticks twelve
and i am asleep.

ii //
i go to bed at twelve,
a little later than the last night,
a little sadder than the latter.
i crawl into a ball,
but my warmth doesn't
stop the thoughts from
pounding in my head;
bouncing of the walls of my mind

iii //
i go to bed at two a.m.
with determination in my eyes
and conquer on my mind,
to fall asleep.
but by four,
i am taunted and teased
again by the thoughts
and voices
and this time,
the memories of us.

iv //
i go to bed at five a.m.
but fail to sleep.
the monster in me
is slowly growing
to the point where
i can no longer take it.
in one quick move,
i defeat the monster
i defeat myself.

v //
i am asleep,
in a different bed;
a different world.
a world where
i am asleep
*forever