For the longest time
I groped
In the darkness
Drowning
But hoping
For a sole breath
That wouldn't be
At the price of
My blood

For the longest time
I was sad
My tears
Carving
A trail down my cheeks
A trickle of blood  
Burning
Through my misery
Leaving a destruction
Crueller
In it's wake

For the longest time
I was at peace
With my broken pieces
The ragged shards
That cut me
And made me bleed
Acquainting me
With who I was
Who I was meant to be
I was in love
With my sadness

And now
As I look
Into your shine
My eyes
Are bruised
Wounded
By your light
I am blinded
By everything that I never was
That I could only ever pretend to be
If only you knew
What you think I am
Is just a reflection
Of your own brilliance

And now
I know
I am not meant
To be blithe
Living is not meant for all
Living is not meant for me
I was not blessed
With a chance
To freely breathe

It must be
At the price of
A cut
A scar
The scarlet beads
That will slowly seep away
And drain my veins
But fill my lungs
With the air I need

And so
I shall watch you
From afar
While your eyes
Dance in glee
I shall drown
In my own misery
Because this is where
I was meant to be
And not where
You were meant to breathe

I was never meant to breathe

~r.w.