it's silent
and dark
and then the feeling of someone forcing air down your nose
forcing air down your throat and burning
forcing light back into your eyes and you hate this
****
there's a reason you did this
there always is
you swallowed those pills for a reason
jumped off that building for a ******* reason
and now
well
you pitched yourself into the churning water
because you ******* wanted to die
and the only reason you're conscious
is because they - whoever they are -
do not seem to understand
that the world is better off without you

you suppose you'll have to try it again