If you've ever broke out into hives, you would understand what it would feel like to be one. If anxiety has ever stripped your veins, If inspiration has ever lacked the blood leaking from the depths of you that explode like title waves against rocks, you would know what it would feel like to be stung. I've realized I haven’t been aware of transfixed rage and clenched hands trying too hard to hold on to something that loosened its grip a match and a half ago. The fluid in my liter told me it was never really meant for cigarettes; all they ever do is deteriorate. There is blood covering my sheets and evidence to cover up my gruesomely blank eyes. Everything is coming back to me and it makes me wonder why I've ever given up. They say that words sting and if bumblebees killed themselves after hurting someone else they’d be a lot more like me. This is ripped and crumbled paper in the form of a mental breakdown. You have composed me of jolting pupils and false accusations. I’d rather be writing in my journal. I’d rather be scratching down illegible ink marks than doing what I’m doing right now. If you can hear that, it’s the sound of windows breaking. It’s the sound of your heart forcing itself to shatter It’s the sound you make when all you want to do is become a drone to vivid darkness and a loss of senses. I would be a lot more like bees if their venom could actually put the living in their suitable graves. I am substituting pain for pleasure even when I feel nothing at all.