Mar 2014
A pleasant sun shone down on the path behind my home, a path overgrown with wild grasses and flowers that glowed with vibrancy and life. I turned away from the electricity that caused my room to buzz and followed the dirt path into distant fields lined with pines, listening to the the sounds birds made when under the illusion that they are completely and utterly alone with one another, safe from human ears. I stretched my arms up, and noted the brilliantly blue sky; only one cloud marked its surface, and the delicate puff was drifting slowly away from the bright sun.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I looked back down and groaned at my shoes, which held my toes in such close quarters that they were beginning to feel cramped in anticipation of the freedom to roam with their own nerves. I promptly removed the shoes, as well as my dull, boring socks, allowing the moist dirt of the track to begin the long process of caking my feet with dark earth. One deep breath of wild air swam into my lungs, and I set off, toes digging into soil, thoughts running away from my control. Sunshine, flowers, work, my life specifically, human life generally, the pompous air with which humans ruled other creatures, the snarls on the faces of evil men as they carved their new homes out of lives already begun in a new land... With a start, I realized that darkness had suddenly touched my wild imagination as it reached the edge of the shadows underneath the trees to my left. I thought of world disasters, of families in need, and felt an ounce of guilt for enjoying a day that a select few would never get the chance to see, but with a weighted blink and a silenced moan, the thought was gone.
I then began to think of all that humans had done in their long history, how we seemed to suffer because of our own inventions and "solutions" to nature's "problems", and something incredible happened. I could suddenly hear the distinct voice of pain and failure, could suddenly smell the burning cities we had destroyed. Each footstep I took brought me closer to the realization that human beings were made up of sections, and each section was grouped so closely to the next that at some point they became indistinguishable, and the characteristics of each began to overlap. The darker, more inherently evil sects seemed to weigh humanity down as a whole, as darker colors tended to do on blank canvases. I looked down the dark path I had followed, and saw how with every mark my foot made upon the earth, the color and goodness of the ground and plants around the track would diminish entirely, painting the foliage black and gray. Grasses became brittle and thin, crackling as a wind sour with destruction and death blew towards me from behind. The rotten odor brought tears to my eyes, and thoughts of children screaming with fear, thoughts of parents dying to protect those children, thoughts of men taking fatal wounds for their wives, thoughts of women crying over the obliterated bodies of their husbands...these thoughts of what humans have done to one another overwhelmed me, and I faltered in my steps, suddenly unsure as to whether or not I should continue this walk along the path that had been laid out for me. I fell to my knees, clutching my head, ears covered to drown out the evil noises that invaded my mind and drove me to a sudden wish to just stop existing.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I looked back down and groaned at my shoes, which held my toes in such close quarters that they were beginning to feel cramped in anticipation of the freedom to roam with their own nerves. I promptly removed the shoes, as well as my dull, boring socks, allowing the moist dirt of the track to begin the long process of caking my feet with dark earth. One deep breath of wild air swam into my lungs, and I set off, toes digging into soil, thoughts running away from my control. Sunshine, flowers, work, my life specifically, human life generally, the pompous air with which humans ruled other creatures, the snarls on the faces of evil men as they carved their new homes out of lives already begun in a new land... With a start, I realized that darkness had suddenly touched my wild imagination as it reached the edge of the shadows underneath the trees to my left. I thought of world disasters, of families in need, and felt an ounce of guilt for enjoying a day that a select few would never get the chance to see, but with a weighted blink and a silenced moan, the thought was gone.
I then began to think of all that humans had done in their long history, how we seemed to suffer because of our own inventions and "solutions" to nature's "problems", and something incredible happened. I could suddenly hear the distinct voice of pain and failure, could suddenly smell the burning cities we had destroyed. Each footstep I took brought me closer to the realization that human beings were made up of sections, and each section was grouped so closely to the next that at some point they became indistinguishable, and the characteristics of each began to overlap. The darker, more inherently evil sects seemed to weigh humanity down as a whole, as darker colors tended to do on blank canvases. I looked down the dark path I had followed, and saw how with every mark my foot made upon the earth, the color and goodness of the ground and plants around the track would diminish entirely, painting the foliage black and gray. Grasses became brittle and thin, crackling as a wind sour with destruction and death blew towards me from behind. The rotten odor brought tears to my eyes, and thoughts of children screaming with fear, thoughts of parents dying to protect those children, thoughts of men taking fatal wounds for their wives, thoughts of women crying over the obliterated bodies of their husbands...these thoughts of what humans have done to one another overwhelmed me, and I faltered in my steps, suddenly unsure as to whether or not I should continue this walk along the path that had been laid out for me. I fell to my knees, clutching my head, ears covered to drown out the evil noises that invaded my mind and drove me to a sudden wish to just stop existing.
