I think I lied to you.
               lied to myself.
I said I "used to"
   because it is my wish.
                        but not true yet.
   Every time you sing,
                                           I doubt
the "used to" that I claim.
   Every time you give me that playful smile
                                           I flutter
and the "used to" fades.
                                           I forget
that I "used to".
           Past not present tense.
I build a wall
           with bricks and mortar
                                        created from "used to".
Meant to protect me
                    from your love
for me, as a friend.
           for her, as more.
I want to "used to"
            but I forget that I "used to"
and I start to,
                                           all over again.