i bite my nails until they are raw and ****** and i can feel the pain every time i pick up a pen
i build sandcastles too close to the sea just to watch them wash away
i pick flowers that remind me of the glints of sunlight in your eyes and preserve them to look at when i’m falling apart
i make endless cups of coffee and pour most of them down the drain
i glance away when you hold my hand and drift away when you kiss me
i am so sick and tired of the girl i see in the mirror and i want to burn her away.

what i’m trying to say is that i love you
what i mean is that i never want to see you again.