i can tell by the way i betrayed you
that my words and silences
that have always been held so
sweetly
are now the source of the anger rattling
your teeth

after every smile and unwanted touch and way in which my heart has leapt for what stings

i think one truthful murmur is overdue

we all know
that my heart strings yank and pull and
i really do this on purpose

because when your tender eyes wash over the guilt and shame that stain my hands like ink

(i wish with all of my heart
that this was over-dramatics)

you and i both know that
i don't deserve this brand of happiness

it's much easier
to ruin it.