I, Kinmgo Kaput, Lord of the Three Grand Lands that Sink Every Time there is a Flood; I, Lord of the Queen of The All Basins that Deliver Rich Harvests and Rice and Lentils and that rules the Nether Rooms in the Mansions; I, Pharaoh and Lord of All Kingdoms that ever existed before my Time on this Wretched Earth; I, Lord of the Rich Lands and Lord of Wood and Metal and Lord of a Thousand Such Designations; I, King, Emperor, Pharaoh, Son of Heaven and Descended of Stars; I do solemnly swear and declare you a Nincompoop for reading this, wasting your time idly looking at lines not worth the space they inhabit; You, waster of time reading lines of second-rate verse rather than feeding the poor or offering your hours at the House of the Wretched; You, waster of time reading poems and verse not worth the alphabet the language inhabits – You, I declare a Nincompoop and may you waste your hours in the Underworld translating the lives of Ants into clay tablets of verse that disappear after each line you carve; and may you, nincompoop who wastes such time reading such empty verse, may you so waste eternity
And thus have I spoken and thus is it recorded on this wall, the Solemn Words (no laughing or sneering there!) Of Kinmgo Kaput, Lord of the Three Basins That have been left Unwashed by the Queen who lords over Home
The above is a translation of a recently-discovered hieroglyphic proclamation of the Pharaoh Of The Three Basins