Somehow
the sadness connected us
We were alone in the world but
together through the silence in the air
that bred nostalgia and memories
we weren't fond of

I didn't have to see your wrists to know
that the skin had once been kissed
by the blade that all too often
tempted death
I didn't have to

because I had seen it in the way
your eyes fell to the floor when
you spoke my name,

how your voice cracked when
you apologized,

how on the rare occasion that
our eyes met you didn't look away
but you didn't smile either

I didn't need to hear the words to know
what you were saying
You were dying
but not dying at all

and that was the problem
Because you can't will yourself
to make your heart stop beating
even though sometimes
at 3 am you want to

But darling, I don't want you to
Don't go
Please
I need you more than I say