All I see is silver linings and it often leaves me burned, but my eyes still search for glimmering when my sight returns. I think the reason I always only see the good is because I have so much darkness chasing me. I run after the light to avoid being swallowed by all the black that creeps and crawls like an eternal tide, an all-consuming pain. Because when Daddy holds a beer, I start to cry, because I think of all the times it made him hurt, hurt, hurt us. And when I feel it all spiraling down, and feel myself spiraling down, I remember the year I was eighteen and how much I always hurt, hurt, hurt. I push it all backwards into oblivion, and shut the door, and hope it doesn’t burst open. All I want to do is love and when I run after the light, I can pretend the darkness is gone, and was never there at all. I’m okay, I’m really okay, in fact, I’m truly happy. I have never felt so sure of my own soul. I feel in sync with the universe, but have no idea where I'm going. March is magical and its pixie-dust is soaking through my skin and into my blood. I am breathing deeply and exhaling it all. But when I tell myself that an open heart never hurt anyone, I remember that it hurt me.