in my dreams there always is a woman beside me talking touching flirting with me looking out for me making love with me standing up lying down for me loving playing dancing accompanying me but in real life there is no one i wake from sleep and there is nobody a bed  empty of amity why do my dreams feel more real fulfilled with love companionship intimacy than my real life which is void of a partner i scratch my hand it starts to bleed is that real yes i am old my skin tears easily yet it feels like a dream why is my skin so thin when did i get so old why is it 4 AM and there is no one but me i want to believe linger live in my dreams laugh play make love with her forget my real life where is my partner but there were other times in my awake life when my dreams were all nightmares what am i supposed to believe this existence is a long disturbing journey with magnificent swirling colors faces bodies sounds echoing ticklish laughter chomping on carrots celery what is real what is time who are my parents who am i have i totally lost it what was it that i once had what did i lose i’m confused where is she the woman in my dreams who accompanies me lives works sleeps showers makes love with me my companion lover where is she where have i strayed