i came out of despairing with the help of two words that kissed my eyelids and sighed smiles in my hair: at least i can curl my toes in soft mud one moment and thousand count cotton the next at least this is a world where hyacinths smell like forgiveness each spring at least i have the luxury of dreaming at least i can sit in sanctuary with my thoughts far from my safety at least there are kids like aphasia spouting precisely what you know but can't think at least strawberries taste like blooming on my tongue at least there's a whole day devoted to mischief and my boy was born heir to april at least i can find solace in the belly fur of a sleeping cat at least there's patience in sadness