Sit me here again.
Bewildered by the blinking screen
That beats with my impatience.
Haunted by memories
That once stirred my soul
Into crazed longing.

Sit me here again.
Beholden to a disastrous mind
Which fills cracks
With insatiable glue.

Yet again what if
Rattles in my chest
Reminds my humbled heart
That this
This has stakes
And longevity.

And yet sit me here again
Tortured by the unwavering
Possibility
Of disappearing
With quick flicks of stubborn tongues.
It’s chance
With 8,000 miles more
Of unbridled yearning.

I hate that
Prolonged responses
Fills me with
Burning cuts
Of heartache
That my craziness
Once again reveals its eager head

I don’t need reassurance of love
I hold that, dear,
Too dear
Dear enough to break me
Into little shattered pieces of repeated fears

But I don’t know
If my armor stands strong enough
To not concave to
Piercing blades
Of loneliness
Of gashes
That ripped my bloated heart.
This hole of desire
Burns right through my skin
Out my sunken eyes
Painting my mouth red
Chewing the same edge
Of a trembling lip

So sit me here again.
Refuting strikes
Of persistent longing.
I can’t
I mustn’t.
How do I explain
It kills me.
It slowly eats away at my will
Making scars in deep cavities
That rarely pumps enough blood
To suffice life
But pounds on haphazardly
Since laying eyes on you.