My dear, forgive my sinful ways of thinking. I utterly think you have no meaning in where you are standing with her. Yes, I am a spineless coward. I have no reason at all to speak to you in such a matter. But don’t you understand? It’s never enough for me. I never know where the limit of someone else’s affection is. Especially not yours.
My ecstasy when you lovers don’t speak is completely disgraceful. But I can help it not. I must disclose though, the sight of you has changed. The way my brain decodes your moves and words has evolved in that of a way that they will not puncture me - they way they had. Elementary safety.
I am somewhat relieved that you desire her and no one else. Though she was that of a sister to me, one never knows enough to trust unconditionally with one’s darkest secrets. For I’ve been taught to trust no one but myself. She never alerted me that the love sentiment was reaching her thoughts regarding you. Thus I never took precautions.
Remorse will at no time overcrowd my memories. For at one point, ending what we had was all I ever craved for. Nevertheless, I would be grateful for that first and certainty last taste of what I not once acquired.