Fear fills me through and through,
As I lay in bed confused.
The numbness I had is leaving me,
The walls I built around me are breaking,
And slowly I'm beginning to feel- once again.
Although memories come back to me,
And the reasons why I chose this solitude,
Echo in the recess of my mind,
I fear this time it is not enough to help me escape,
The confrontations I have always avoided.
All I want to do is walk away.
Which till now has not been an incident rare.
But this once mastered art seems to have left its artist.
And thus like a traitor so much like a Brutus,
Stabbed another Ceaser in betrayal- though unfortunately not with killing intent.

Before their time I see them.
I see my cat- his furry figure white as snow,
Speckled with brown here and there- lay,
As still as the floor that holds him.
I see my dear little sister- still unsure of my disposition!
I see my mother- still decisive and calculating, but praying.
I see my father- still hoping in spite of my own lack of faith.
And I see my dear beloved cousin- still wiping away my tears and fighting away my fears,
With no more than a smile upon her lips,
Standing by me,
A silent guardian watchful.
Nursing an animal with more scars than he would care to exhibit.
All of them I see,
Their faces so white,
Their dark eyes so grey.
A sight so distant from now.
And yet I am somehow compelled to believe in its overwhelming proximity,
And wonder in despair.

Fear fills me through and through,
As I lay in bed confused.
Asking "why?"- a question answered long ago.
Still I am unwilling to stand by breathing,
As I watch them, one by one, abandoning me for an eternity.
If nothing else,
I have learned Time to be my greatest adversary.
So I humbly pray,
For Time to be my greatest teacher.