Ive given everything up to make everyone happy hoping i would eventually be happy but it seems as though god likes ******* with me. the woman i love moved while i was at work. i dont know if she even loves me like she says she does. i havent wanted anyone else but her. i tried to get her off my mind but i cant. i feel it in my heart that shes my soul mate, my better half, my everything but no matter what i do i just mess everything up and make  her hate me more. maybe gods plan for me was eternal damnnation and eternial lonelyness. maybe his plan was for me **** my self. i dont want anyone but her i never truely clicked with anyone but her. hell if i had to sacrifice my own life for her id do it in the bling of an eye or better yet faster than sound or light. i would do anything for her no matter the cost. but god has a sick twisted mind and every time im finally happy it gets ripped away from me. i have just about had enough of this ****** torture i want to just say ***** it and end it once and for all.