today i remembered i like you.

my dear
it sure has been awhile.
i don't see you very often
but i still bring you apples at lunch
i still fix your hair,
i still steal a stare at you
across the hall
but pretend to be too busy reading
or homework, or drawing.

when really i should give you a smile.

today
you gave me a hug
out of no where
i didn't even have to ask.
and i just waned...
i just wanted to bury my face there
and inhale your scent and relax
because i'm so stressed.

my dear
thank you for the hug
i should of said thank you
but i proceeded to tell E.
that you hated me
and i don't know why.
E. replied that you love her
and i must of had some look on my face
and she added you two are good friends.
that's odd because i didn't tell her
i like you.
well you don't act that way with me
was my response,
i've had bruises,
i know this
i hear it but i do not tell her
and it isn't abuse
it was sword fighting.

he's tougher with me
rougher with me
someone once told me
you know he's not the same with you
perhaps he's shy?
perhaps he does like you?
and i couldn't believe
and i dismissed the thought until now
because i don't want to get my hopes up.

my dear,
you claim to not hate me.
but some days i just cry
because that seems to be a lie.
some days you swat me away,
or tell me to go away
your eyes get stormy
your complexion dark
and i can't help but to feel sorry
for what i did
if i did do something.
and i sit here crying
writing this poem for you
that you'll never read.

i don't understand
and you looked genuinely sorry
i told you, you had told me
"one day i'll be your friend
the next i'll knock you down a peg."
my dear,
you looked shocked,
your eyes widened
in a reaction i haven't
figured out yet.
you looked...sorry.
possibly even guilty.
and those brown and green eyes
were wide
and again
i'm not used to
having your full attention.

my dear,
you told me you were sorry.
and it was my turn to be shocked.