It’s chocolate chip pancakes at 2:30am
And empty mugs of coffee on my desk

It’s adrenaline pumping through my chest
And the whir of my refrigerator

My focus is ping ponging between
All of the holes in the wall
Ignoring everything but
the pages in front of me

Watching everything through
A double pained glass
Realizing control is an illusion

I fight to get closer and closer to the audience
In my head
Exaggeration stretching onward like salt-water taffy
In the window

Fingers slipping, sweat beading
heavily above my upper lip
Not being 100% sure of anything
Who can blame me?
I am lost in the swivels of society

My face, as a ballerinas, when on pointe
An elegant mask full of nothing
Spinning and spinning
Relying on the inner soles of my feet

The clock slowly and forever slipping
As I cannot reach the top of the bunny hole
Too ******* stubborn to let any of the voices
In my head tell me I should crawl away

So, I look down and begin to read.