When I was young I found myself searching for salvation in all the wrong places,
Spreading my heart and all the pieces that I had never forgiven.
I learned quickly that I don’t write enough,
I dream so much
I reach to little.
I look for God in everything, and when I write I find myself mentioning his name all the time.
Something I have found myself to not even believe in I scribble into notes of delirium
and maybe its because he never showed up when I was promised
I wrapped my veins in rosary’s and begged him please,
“don’t let me be this way”
Oh but I found him,
I found him on her lips that tasted like church
and I found him coiled under the moans of hallelujah
My favorite word.
I loved it enough to ink it into my skin.
To replace the carvings I had mastered with something much prettier.
I have bruises on my palms from all the times I felt there was no other option than to fall in the face of evil and don’t you dare apologize for words you never knew you could say and don't you  let your memories slip away they are a crystal ball that is fading.
Much like my hair I find it in broken strands in the shower and I wish I never ******* apologized for letting you **** me because my breath is now a ball of light and I project it to you.
please sir, ma’am, and everything in between don't you ever say you swung to high on that swingset because we all know all you wanted to do was touch heaven.
Will I find a safe haven in the marrow of your bones
even the tips of your toes didn’t seem as if they could make it but I see differently.
Let me hold you.
Let me find that ****** curse of hallelujah in your curves
dont you dare say you dont deserve her
don't tell yourself he isnt worth loving.
There is no message in that bottle and if you try to find it you will be lost at sea,
you are a ******* entirety why would you waste the solar system on nothingness it holds itself together without any obligation at all
and you lay around waiting for something that will never come reying on your next paycheck well what the hell are you going to do now?
Touch the Olympus with your toes.
Wash the bruises from your palms,
become lost in your own serenity
write yourself like the best novel you will read and for the love of god if he never answered your prayers find them in shadows or in sand because I swear to you, my love, someone will hold your hand other the cold stone steps you are about to face and don't you dare fall.
But for me, take one step.
Go on,
I dare you.