this says body,
and I'm thinking I can't think

there's worlds to put here
but confusions overcome me.

Why? or Where? How Will I ever?
What?
I want to but can't.
Nothing comes out how I want to.
It is hard. For me.
I'm so shy
Not playing

scared of people
the "what people?"

I'm embarrassed
why
what's there to scare me?

prizes aren't for me.

Is that how i see things?
no attention is necessary!

I just want to live
or get things out
I'd really like to write.
I'm good at this. I've tried..
along time ago...I've tried.
There were points of happiness
of completeness
of solidness
of structuredness
of being free
of being spirited
for having something to say and saying it
in ways that made sense

to myself

or to someone who could understand it
one day.

that was a dream
a hopeful dream maybe
or maybe not even a dream
just a kidding thought

but it would be okay to
hear someone notice
and think aloud
but to leave me untouched
and unbroken
and unbruised
and untainted
and UN-humiliated
and not judging

Just let me say what i need to say
and let me pass by.

and if you want to, smile at me.
I'm cool with that.

I was small but little when the dream
came to me,when the earth spoke to me
when I spoke to myself,
when I took control or had control
even slightly.
when i learned to love....everything...
for who I was and what I was
and Where I was....
and to recite and to wonder.......
But it all goes away.
and in a blink of an eye,
I don't know how.
I ever thought I land up so far away from myself
It's interesting.
But maybe this is a step in the right direction.