that you should end up sleeping with the boy who boldly but secretly, confusingly just needed access to your bed that the vague notion of your missing friends is actually a blatant chastisement about your social misdemeanor That you should feel the urge to withdraw from any and all recreational opportunities because you can already tangibly feel the distressing friction between every differing fiber between both your brain and theirs It isnt fair that you should be so clever, and resourceful but exposure of such elaborate operations will only occur outside all traditional institutions in the privacy of an empty audience It isnt fair that you have unknowingly began a retreat from life and dinner with your family to find some solstice from a muddling indigent existence that requires you to obsess over trivial details just so you dont miss the rare gratifying hints of a walking compliment It isnt fair that you'll say yes to anything you haven't learned from life experience to not want and it isnt fair that one disadvantage should create others by consequence and default It isnt fair that my adult facade should restrict my child appropriate responses and its public unrest or for my simple unique characteristics to ooze the paint for which they'll use to commit my image to memory for the entire school. I'll have to learn to put up with the eggshells that grind into the soft ***** of my feet when I blindly interact with other expressionless but feeling, thoughtless but intellectualizing people and it isnt fair for my mortified laugh to be chastised