"I love you"
he said.
I turned my face away and pretended to be happy
I kissed that boy and pretended he was another.
he loves the wrong person;
I know that full well.
he doesn't know me,
my favorite music,
the poems I read,
the way I think too hard about everything and push everyone away.
he doesn't know me
and he thinks he loves me.
so that's why I choose to cry in the shower
and cover it up in the morning
and keep it up,
this charade doomed to end.
how do you break someone's heart and sleep at night?
how can you do that?
I will never love him
and for that I feel guilt
being pressed against my lungs
like bricks.
the elephant standing
on my chest won't get off
and I would rather
let it crush me completely.