Valentine's Day
Was supposed to be
The day of our
First kiss

Finally

One of us was going to
Work up the
Courage
To let ourselves be
Vulnerable

Even for just a minute

The walk to your house was
Unbearable
I couldn't stop shaking
From the nerves
And anxiety

When I finally rounded the corner
And slowly found a way
To quiet the
Shakes

My mouth flew open
And hit the pavement
At the flashing lights
Blue
And
Red

"No. No. No. No. No. No."
I mumbled to myself
Racing
To your front door

I counted the pigs
One
Two
Three
Four

Four cop cars in your
Driveway
On our first
Valentine's Day together
The day of our excepted
Kiss

No.
I thought again
And again
Until I forgot any other
Words even existed

My legs couldn't move
Fast enough
Somehow I was in
Slow motion

By the time I reached your
Front door
I hesitated
Not sure if
"That's my boyfriend!"
Was a good enough excuse
To grant me access
To the crime scene
In your house

On our day...


Before I could decide
To knock
Or not to knock
The door
Flew
Open

And there she was
The girl I never really
Looked at before
In detail

Your sister
In handcuffs

I swear that I could see
Into her soul
With just a glance

I don't think I could
Possibly forget
That moment

It lasted forever

Her eyes sliced into
My heart
In a way no one
Ever had before

I could see it all
Right then
Her sorrow and
Heartache
Poured into my
Soul
Unexpectedly

I couldn't tell you what
The officers looked like
Or even what
Gender they were

I couldn't look away
From her eyes

Crystal blue
Like the shards of
Glass
That cut me open
And ripped me apart



Our first Valentine's Day
Plays over in my mind
On a constant loop

Not because we were supposed to
Kiss
And never did

Not because you didn't even
Bother
To get me a gift

Not because completely I regret
Dating
You in the first place


But because I knew that somehow

Maybe

I could have saved her...


But didn't.