I wanted to try new things this year.
Instead of accepting the limitations people put on me
I wanted to step outside of the box.
I wanted to set goals and not stop until I get them done.

I'm like a butterfly trying to get out of a cocoon
Or a baby chick pecking it's way from the egg.
I have a lot of potential inside me, just waiting to be released.

One of my biggest passions is acting.
For a few hours I get to be someone else, putting on their shoes
Living their story and temporarily forgetting the thoughts people put on me.
I've been trying to make it in the industry since I was twelve but it's like I'm
Running up the down escalator. It seems like I'm going nowhere.

I will never be the skinniest or the prettiest girl according to the eyes of
The entertainment industry but I've accepted that.
I won't starve myself or force myself to be skinny just so someone will pay attention
To me. All I've got is my talent and my ability to try to change your mind.

But it never works. I'm always overlooked by someone skinnier, prettier, and taller than me.
Because of my looks I'm put in the back row, cast away to the side because the person with the long legs and straight teeth and size zero waist is the one people want to see.

I stopped trying. I accepted the role of the helper, the background.
I let the pretty girl go and stopped doing things outside of the box people gave me.
No contests, no auditions, no movies.
Just the simple, heavier, not-as-pretty girl who stands in the back smiling while I hold your coat.

But I don't want that this year. I want to meet my goals, try these auditions
Enter these contests even though I'm positive I will not win.
I know the person with the thigh gap, long locks, legs for miles will beat me in the contest or beat me in the auditions.
But I can always be proven wrong. I can always be the one chose, and it will never happen if I don't try.

I can't let other people define me.
To truly know my own potential
I gotta try.