the shape of the air where it meets the sea changes with each passing wave and i cannot find the space that was there just a moment ago that place where i might have just slipped through and made my way to the underbelly of this other world and into the cavern we once explored where we left the map to find our way home that place where we laughed together when you said i could get lost inside my own house and promised never to let go my hand but both of my hands are here with me and very much unaccompanied by either of yours and my mind turns over and over yet cannot figure whether you were pulled away or let me go and watched from below as the shape of the sea changed where it met the air