Ive been running around for 20 yrs and i think im just running on fumes. ive never been good for anything ever. all i do is mess up in life and hurt the ones i love and care for and the ones i hold close to my heart. all ive ever wanted was to be happy, to make my family happy and to make the people i have been with happy but its just nit possible. either i can make my family and i happy or the person i was and am with happy and my self happy but theres no inbetween. i just put on a fake happy face and make the other 2 happy. but anymore im just running on fumes so i guess when i move out i can just fill up my tank but untll then i guess a fake smile is all im good for. to all who read this take my advice if u have ever been unhappy and pray for something to go your way like i have just hold onto it and dont make promises like i did and go back on them it only gets you in deep trouble. and if anyone i know reads this or my family reads this just know that ive tried and im sorry im not a god figure and make everyone happy. its not possible and probly never will be.