you are inches measured by miles away bulldozing oriental food you don't intend on eating around your plate and i am imagining the translation of asking for a broom in a foreign language for when you shatter over small talk or the first sentence to start with "so" breaks you into shaking that i can feel from across the table and i am thinking now about tectonics and how you must be daydreaming of being submerged in a book back home or gripping tightly to bedsheets begging for familiar warmth i can tell by the way you are looking at me that you are feigning our salutation embrace seconds drowned in ankle deep water and i wonder if you see my hands as jackhammers and if the reason why you hug so hard but only for a moment is to be as sharp as possible so that i do not smell your perfume or notice that you aren't wearing any and why there are few suprises in the safe you claim is a mouth where shades of plush pink hide a sickly pallor and i continue to look over brick & mortar borders and think how maybe she is thinking of kissing but certainly not me not these apologies nailed to my face i give myself a moment of benefitted doubt that you sometimes picture your frame under mine and if your clavicles would crack if i were to touch them i am sorry that i am a victim of imagination but i swear i chalk it up as the forgotten feeling for when you look up and the person you are looking at is gazing directly at you you have painted yourself as a mosaic in my mind as a mess of dust & incoherent words that all sound like please in my ears but that doesn't explain why my hands are the ones that are shaking when i imagine you imagining me in the spaces of yourself where you've forgotten you could put someone