I have seen a fish being beaten and left for dead on the side of a wooden boat and I want that to be me
because in death there are extremes
and I want to contract diseases and inflict them on every
**** person who ever touched me
and I want to be made out of poison that makes people want me
more than they want to be alive
I just want to be dangerous
which is how I feel with sharp glass in my eyes
rubbing against my lids and
how I feel with sharp steel pressed against legs
******* I feel alive and dangerous and powerful
more than I ever did before and I do reach a higher existence
and I do feel like a different person
I just want to make people sick with how much they love me
and fall apart with out me
and I am just this echo calling out for my ******* narcissus
who would love me more than his reflection
so **** it Ovid I just want this last bit of danger
I like the taste of my blood when I **** ******* my gums
I love the feel of pain I want it so bad
I want to be euphoric and I want people to want to make me ******* euphoric
I cannot live like a girl without danger when all my life I have been dangerous to all
and I burn people yes but scars only ever last for a couple months
burn scars do anyway, to me, I thought they all loved me
and would die for me
but I have not left behind that many corpses in my tread
and I am not the girl I thought I was
I am not the girl I think I am
I want to be everything and nothing
and good and bad and
I want to be His ******* temptation but I cannot have that title
so I'll be His darling stagnation because that's what I'll do
breaking up won't be ****** and suicide and blood pacts it'll be dad
coming with a van and Him looking kinda sad maybe
I guess when I leave it will be mutual
and neutral and all of the things that I hate
the things that poison my insides the worst thing I feel is neutrality
that and passivity
I cannot stand non aggressive or not emotive
I have to have everything
I have to have noise and terror every day or I cannot cope some times
I hate that life has to be like this now and I cannot be what I want
because the times are wrong and society won't accept it
when I say I do not want to talk about it it is because I feel this
this is bad and this is
the closest I will get to poisoning you
because I cannot tell you my secret desires
for you to **** all the life from my heart
pour it back in me with pieces of you
when I sleep I dream sometimes I dream about you killing me
and it is the best feeling ever I wake up and smile
I am horrid and my heart is on fire
but now you care if it hurts you stop when I say so
I see the look of the eyes of the fish on the boat
I see that look in the eyes of me