Young and Naive Poem
2/18/2014

I'm feeling trapped in these walls.
Ready to fall
through the floor.
Don't wanna sleep in my bed no more.
I can't see in the dark,
but unsure - I could feel more secure.
_
I ran home when I was a kid.

You picture a sad child running away from their family.
But I ran home to tear off my clothes.
To stand in the shower and numb my brain
with senseless waste of water.
Drops smashing violently against my face.
Distracted me from the real storm approaching.

If I could wet the air
I draw in for breath,
maybe the heavy gravity of things
would become more apparent.

If those violent water drops soaked into my pores,
maybe they could sink into my thoughts.
If I could do that,
then I could be somewhere else.

I was worried I would have to disappear
from a world that I loved too much.
A world I loved too much
for it to love me back and yet still have me hate it.

I could not accept the things that just could not change.
Luckily, if you want to call it luck,
there was still too much I needed to say,
…. yet too much wanting to remain the same...
And all the same, it's all the same,
just maybe with another name.

Or another person,
and in another year,
their acting will worsen.

For shame I blame.
My steps scorched the Earth,
burning up under the pressure
Of a body bloated heavy with burden.
A ****** buddy without a body - its called a thought that you don’t want.
With the heavy weight, and my boots quake
My resolve, it shakes.
So settle down.

Listen…

The little boy who went running through the streets.
No he was rollerblading.
No it was me, as a child.
I was strolling, so carefree.

A long ago day,
before I became me.
He said, “I resolve to be drug free.”

...
To be so young and naive.