as for these eyes I’m supposed to get in the back of my head, do they come in like milk?  do they hurt?  will two of my friends suicide each other first?  what does it mean that I’ve seen a boy with a broken nose and bandaged mouth?  how can I tell him it’s okay to follow me to the third floor where my father knocks icicles from the gutter into a bucket and dumps them into a hot bath while sharing again how one got away and barely missed a stroller?  what good will my seeing be if my brother in my mother’s stomach looks as they say like a piece of gum spat into jesus’ blood?