Big, fat Santa bounded through my halls;
He made everything shake, even the walls.

He ate all my cookies,
Drank all my milk;

He had heavy boots,
And a coat made of silk.

Over his back he carried the toys;
Some of them, a lot of them, even made noise.

He smelled like fresh, tobacco smoke;
He gave my favorite tree an irritated poke.

A grumpy look came upon his face;
This guy is crazy, and I bet he carries mace.

He reached into his bag, so I thought for gold,
But out he pulled, a big lump of coal.

With an angry look, he set it down with ease;
Then walked up to my chimney, and gave his nose a squeeze.

I'll never forget the obese man in red;
I'll hate him forever, until the day I am dead.