A while ago, I told myself that I was done with earthly love.
Not forever, however I thought we just might need a break.
Although it brought me joy,
Brokenness, exhaustion,
And tears ensued more frequently than the happiness I had thought.

My own love of pursuing my dreams did not sadden my heart
Like love often did.
Why would I chase it?
Love is rarely caught and takes far too much work to maintain.
When I am faster and stronger, then I will try it again.

Just a break to discover what lays in my dormant soul,
To decide where my body actually wants to go,
To see it all
All the world has,
To find the most valuable thing the world can offer.

Being alone wasn’t so lonely. I had family.
I had friends.
I had me.
Their touch was enough to satisfy my desire,
My constant need to always be with some form of love.

Then came the summer sun and all it had to give:
The busy beaches, the sunburnt skin, the naught nights,
And him.
This man,
Who would eventually change my thoughts on love.

He seemed normal and I became curious.
“Hi.
So,
What is your name what brings you to this place?”
I wasn’t looking for him, yet he found me.

“I’m sorry, I must be leaving,” I said.
And I ran across the world, the ocean,
Until I could run no more. I was lost.

I found myself in a labyrinth, one constructed of memories and unfamiliarity.
The more and more I searched for answers, the more and more I became lost
Answers that would address my questions were lost in the wood
The once beautiful flowered entrance was forgotten
Until I could only remember the darkened forestry surrounding me
I heard ghostly voices calling out to me, to come home
My family
My friends
I could not leave this labyrinth. It was my home
I came to enjoy being lost and forgotten like the warm summer days
The cool shade’s touch befriended me and I decided that I never wanted to leave
Then I felt a light tap on my shoulder
When I turned around, he was standing there, bright eyed and warm hearted
He nicely asked me if he could help me find a way out
So he took my hand and searched with me, walked along side of me
His voice keeping me company
The light began to stream through the trees once more
And the ground was littered with colorful fruit

He stepped out into the light, a sun flooded field that marked the end of our journey.
He waited, smiling and patiently.
He opened his arms, knowing that I yearned for a gentle touch.
He asked me again, so sweet I could hear the honey dripping from his lips.
So I ran.

I couldn’t bring myself to remove myself completely from the forest.
I backpedalled into the maze again.
I was trying to find a dead end.
I had abandoned goodness and life for darkness and confusion.
I couldn’t shake from my memory the image of
His eyes
His laugh
His touch
And their warmth remained even when my heart did not.

I knew I would find my way out,
I would cross two countries and an ocean to get there.
Perhaps he will still be waiting,
Bright eyed and standing in the open air.
Maybe he knew I would run back in,
And he even whispered, “Take care.”
He showed me what was waiting when I came out.

Love was not what I was searching for,
Yet it is a consequence of
Seeing where my heart rested
Because although it is
Found in many spots
It can always
Be found where
Love flows
Freely.