Emptiness consumes me at night,
my soul tends to then hide.
I lay my head down on my pillow,
Soon i weep more than a willow.
His face haunts my demolished heart,
what i held together now falls apart.
First I see what It used to be,
loving hands and words so sweet.
Then i hear what it became,
his voice once loving screams my name.
Anger replaces his love,
another scream and then a shove.
I scream back because I'm hurting,
tears fall and now I'm learning,
a philandering heart cannot be healed,
but I from the truth I did shield.
It's my fault, but he lied,
I hurt him when i yelled, but I'm the one that died.
And when he was in recovery, i loved him,
but my support was too weak, so someone else "helped" him.
The horrors he put me through never leave my head.
After he betrayed me I had wished that I was dead.
Nobody really knew, Nobody understood.
That I would have left him earlier if I thought I could.
I used to cry for him, now Its because of what he did.
Nightmares called to me, everywhere I hid.
In my world he tore a whole,
where he tossed my tattered soul.
Even now, so much later,
He remains my tormentor.