I knew I didn't love you anymore
When I could fall asleep without pills
My own exhaustion was enough to quiet my mind, to take my thoughts and smother them
I didn't need alcohol anymore to forget the way your eyes lit up and I can't remember how they made me feel when they looked into mine
I don't spend all day punishing myself for staring at your photographs because I've rid myself of all of them (the first one I burned slowly in my fireplace when I was too weak for anything else and needed to watch the flames lick at your face to remind me of reality, needed to pretend you had burned away too to convince myself you weren't coming back,and the final few I tossed carelessly in the trash as I cleaned my house after a party)

I no longer think of your smile in the moonlight,
Or the way your hair looked in sunlight
I have given away everything you gave me
(including the love, which now resides in the heart of a friend who lost her sister and needs it more than I)
And this letter, my once dearest, is my final goodbye