Your 18th birthday is tomorrow
Some may call that the most important birthday
But you're too sad to enjoy it
You'll be spending your special day lying on a cold metal bed
Itchy sheets
In a hospital
A hospital for people like you
People who find life to hard to live
I feel so much sorrow for you
We get to throw you a party
It will last 50 minuets
That's all the time we are allowed to visit
We will bring you a cake
It's not the same though
No balloons; the popping noise scares the patients
No candles; you might burn yourself out of spite
No laughs; everyone is scared to offend you
No pictures; you feel you're too horribly ugly and don't want to remember this
You're my role model, my sister
And you're becoming an adult
But you could care less
You've grown up but what does that matter when you feel life isn't worth living
It hurts me to see you in this pain,
To see your weak hand grasping out for my gentle embrace
When your perfection is fragile and broken, who do you turn to?
Who now will offer me comfort?
Your birthday is ruined and I did nothing to stop that.
And for that I am buried in fiery guilt
A blazing roar of self-loathing
For I knew you were sad and I did little to save you
And I'm more than sorry
So I'll cry for you
And then beg for your forgiveness
(AG)