Pearl white
the color of four walls in an empty hospital room
or the color of your teeth when you are smiling
at anyone who isn't me; I think you know what I want to see
before I let myself go under.
Pearl white - the color of slate I could scrub
until my knuckles bled but never quite clean - you know,
white is the color of an innocence
I'll never know, like a blank open document
before it is corrupted by words, a blank sheet of paper
before I smash my skull open like a glass jar
and let the ink drop and stick like preserves;
I've never been that smart of a guy and every big word
I ever said to you was probably forced.
Pearl white - your bones if you'd ever let me see them,
but oh no, never touch - you know,
pearl white isn't made for hands like these, these hands are sticky
with baggage and defilement and I fell in love
with the way your body melted into a white couch
but I never said anything, nothing, no way, no how
all the fears in my throat are blood red and I have always been afraid
of staining beautiful things. Pearl white -
I can stare at a full moon like an empty notebook for hours
and nothing may come out, but when I look at the whites of your pearl eyes,
I start to remember the phrase about the world being my oyster
and once I upon a time I realized I have such tiny hands
and I was scared to hold something so intimidating and large,
but now you stand here and suddenly I can hold the universe in my palms.
I would dress you in all white - white is the color of a ghost hiding beneath a bed sheet,
white is the color of wedding dresses and maybe if you stand in a graveyard
you might hear church bells, but, then again, you could just
press your ear to my chest instead.
Pearl white - the color of four walls in an empty hospital room
or the color of your teeth when you are smiling
at anyone who isn't me; I think you know what I want to see
before I let myself go under.