to the both of us
for how long it took me to let things go. 
and this is to the night that I stood alone. to the night I cried so hard, I couldn't breathe.
to the night I prayed for him to come back to me, and of course to the night 
where he never looked back. 
this is to the 8 months of my life when i was always so sad. to the 8 months of my life I'm never getting back. to the people I pushed away just to have you, looking back I wish I had a clue. I wish I had some type of sign of how empty handed you would leave me. then again all my warnings should've been you cheating. 
or maybe they were the nights where you would call me at 3 in the morning drunk off your ***. maybe then I should've realized you were the one that made me so sad. 
it's all so bittersweet when I replay the memories. because I always wonder how you could make me the happiest person yet the saddest all in one? I had no clue a person could do that to someone. 
but a month goes by and I'm not fine. there's so many nights where you cross my mind. 
multiple nights where I can't help but cry. I tell everyone I don't miss you but deep down I know it's a lie. but I will continue to tell them all, that you never cross my mind. these words will leave my mouth until the day I eventually believe it inside. 
it's been 10 months and I can't wrap my mind around everything that happened this time of last year. and what makes it even worse is I know that you don't care. I know that this doesn't bother you so why am I still here? why am I still writing all my silly thoughts. why can't I get over the fact that you are now something that we both know you're not; 
I don't know what's going on now, I've lost all sense and movement. who cares about who I left behind, the ending has been written. my dear, the book is closing and I'm afraid I might be withering.