I hate when my counselor that I’ve seen 8 months
asks me why I shaved off part of my hair two weeks ago
like maybe I just wanted to and
this isn’t about Freud
now where are my test results

Sometimes I hate being so dependent on what axis my personality lies on like without a name for myself I will fall to pieces

And she delivers because no one refuses me for some reason
like they are afraid of something in the bone structure of my face
or in the hollow of my eyes

and she reads me what ive known since the day I turned 13
She reads me what I've known since I strangled
my cat in the woods when I was 14

She reads me what ive known since I stole
all my mothers pain medication and sold it when I was 15
She reads me what ive known since I was caught by the police at 16  
and didn’t bat an eyelash at the prospect of it all
because somehow it doesn’t matter

She reads me what ive known since I crashed
my car into a store and laughed
Since I totaled my car into a ditch at 90 with
no seatbelt and caught air and walked away
invincible because I cant get hurt

since I ran over my dog and played in its blood
and then made myself cry when I called my mom
and blamed it on an innocent guy

I’ve known what I am

but she is worried about putting a label on me
like maybe im not a sociopath or narcissist or borderline
like she doesn’t want to be the one to blame if shes not right

Call me evil
Because I am