I am really excellent at ruining things
by saying things I know I shouldn't.
"I'm going to chase her away,"
I say,
"By always telling her how afraid I am of losing her."
You laugh and tell me
I'm probably right.
I think that may have been the first time I really understood
that "tell her how you feel" isn't always
good advice.
So I told you I loved you in code
and kept smiling,
because I am impossibly wrong for you,
and I want you to be happy
even more than I want you.