I sometimes wish that I could just forget things.
I just want to erase what has happened.
Pretend it never was there.
Forget how I felt.
I want to let it go.
Watch it drift away and feel secure in knowing that it will no longer effect me.
Feel relief watch over me as it slowly disappears.
I want to feel that freedom.
As the burden lifts away from my shoulders, I want to feel light.
As if I'm not missing anything.
As if I really am complete in what I have now.
Completion...a goal too high to achieve.
As long as the memories survive, I will always miss out on something.
As long as the feelings last, I will always feel that pull.
So I long to just forget.
It's so much better than acceptance.
I don't want to accept the inevitable.
I wanted to be different.
I wanted to be important.
So why can nothing distract me?
No matter what, it lingers.
A perfect fist around my heart that pulls.
A delicate mix of heartache and pain...
A defining mark on my existence.
I want to turn blind to this feeling.
It's reach should wrap around thin air instead of me.
Forget.
Let it pass.
Turn away.
But there is no way out.
No distance is too far...or far enough...away