You ever reach the moment
when enough is enough?
You want nothing more to do with a person
or a situation
or an issue?
You just think it's time for it to disappear?
Well,
I'm having that moment.
It's time for this ******** to stop.
It's time for this to end.
I've had enough.
I fight too hard for things that I'll never acheive.
I believe in people too much.
I have too much faith in the "good" in people
that I blind myself to the "bad".
It's over.
There is no turning back.
Sadly, I have reached my limit.
I feel like I've wasted my time.
Nothing has been accomplished,
but I did everything in my power.
I beat myself up over and over and over again
and for what?
Just to fail...
But can I really look at it as failure when I had no control over the situation?
It was not my choice.
I can't control people.
I can't predict people.
I can only count on those close to me.
I can only count on that which makes me secure
and I hate that my insecurities overcame me.
I hate that my attempts were all in vain.
I wanted to salvage something.
I wanted to believe that my feelings had some purpose,
but I suppose it's just become a lesson.
I should never think that it will always work out as I want.
Some things are just not meant to be.
Or else...they need more time,
but my impatience controls me.
I cannot just let time pass without action.
I need to feel as if I'm doing something,
as if I'm trying something...
I need to feel as if I'm fixing it
only to realize that I have fixed nothing.
Instead, I pushed it too far.
But I'm not really trying to blame me.
Because it's not my fault.
Why place the blame on me when I was the only one fighting?
When I was the one who really wanted to make things right?
How dare people claim that I don't care!
You've never met anyone who cared more.
You've never met anyone who tries harder.
You've never met anyone who believes in people more.
You've never met anyone who exhausts every effort.
You've never met anyone who would do anything for anyone.
You've never met anyone who is quite like I am.
And if you don't believe these things about me,
then honestly, you've never really met me at all.
Because those who know me, know this about me:
I will always be there.
I will never give up.
I will never go away.
I will never drop you.
I will never harm you.
But that is only if I am given the same treatment.
I do not make friends for fun.
I make friends for real.
And to lose one, kills me.
But I can't always be the one that fixes it,
especially if the other side wants nothing to do with it anymore.
I'm stuck at the mercy of someone else.
My control is gone.
And now I can only accept the inevitable.
One day...there will be regret.
But it won't be mine.