There is no place in this modern age, it seems. No "I could if I would and wouldn't if I couldn't" Or some other convoluted phrase of a pod. Now Getting out your phone is sufficient To show to another some ghastly memes Puerile goldmines, or else perhaps Some comic vines Or worser still, oh dear me Some animal *******
Now nothing shocks if not in the flesh News of paedos on TV Where used to haunt old sir Jimmy Elicits now some some disinterested grunt, whilst genocide Suffers horribly from being juxtaposed With the football scores.
If nothing shocks, if nothing works To divert the mind from those ****** tweaks What good are words to those who still Prefer to sit and tell a joke Rather then hopping on the rumour mill And spew much **** till we all choke.
There's no place for Wildeisms, for how Can they compete with lolcats? Wit is no longer about sarcasm and irony For, dear god, the Americans run the world now, And is now about a carefully placed "Yolo", or perhaps a reference to some Facebook trend, or Some other fatuous *******. It's so **** it drips with **** So goodbye, dear wit, let me blow you a kiss And let you know that I say, "**** this, I'm going to go watch Tommy Cooper videos on youtube."