It all ends up this way
Destroyed mentally, and shocked as to where I was
For the past couple of months

Did I really let that happen to me?
Self defense isn't always physical
I wish I was, more strong
I wish I was, able to say no
I wish I was, someone everyone respects

Shaking, cold, confused, crying
I'm not sure what to say

There was always different shifts
Flip flopping
Never keeping your word
Instability was my worse enemy

I wish you well,
even though you don't.
I wish for harmony,
in the chaos of the mind.
I wish for pure love,
where there is no expectations in return.
I wish for strength
to get through this world.

Hatred and resentment are for people who cannot get over
the pain of the past
Blaming, pointing fingers, saying words
that really hurt deep within
Feeling relief afterwards
while the harm isn't reversible

All the things I wanted to avoid
All the things I wanted to avoid.

But I kept going, hoping, knowing that one day
this will come to an end
and each time, I will hurt more
my paranoia may be a self fulfilled proficiency
but I hate being right.
I hate being right.

Darkness within your eyes
Laughing out loud
I'm here for you,
but I will hurt you.
I love you
but I will leave
I don't have it in me
to the person,
that is right for you.

Contraction
fess up, you aren't treating me right
fess up, you jumped into this without a thought as to how to handle
fess up, you could have returned a changed person
fess up, you aren't mentally sound
to accept the love
to accept the issues of everyday life
to accept me, as a person.